I had to lose nearly everything
to uncover what was missing.
This is a love letter to hundreds.
If we crossed paths and spoke,
if our eyes met in interesting conversation
or silence,
and even, especially, if they didn't -
I looked for you.
To those of you who may not know me well,
you'll learn it's true,
I do find you beautiful.
In the way our combined space, our differences, our humanness
makes room for forgiveness
of all things;
My too-quick-judgements.
My self-absorption.
My tendency to isolate
despite knowing I could probably, maybe trust you.
The reckless side that forgets to open my eyes,
Who stumbles through getting to know you,
Who trips over the knots tied in childhood
that I've yet to undo.
The fumbling,
From months, maybe lifetimes,
with barely any hand holds,
or fingers on forearms while speaking.
The world needs more touch.
I'll strive to find the balance between
showing all my affections,
Without being misleading.
I know well that some can mistake me,
And any power gained isn't worth the pain of your beautiful heart.
I'll strive to stay open,
Even if it means opening to the side of me
that sometimes has to close.
There is a kind of freedom found
in being surrounded by others
who let me in.
Even more in understanding
That not everyone can -
Granting me permission to have my own
so-called flaws,
to accept the whole.
There's the entrance.
I see you.
I love,
And will always keep my eyes raised
to your lovely faces.
Beautiful.
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