Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Split Screen



Marriage is a funny thing
One never seen the same again
after divorce.

Hindsight is enlightening.
Like when the cruel one emerged,
Even the new girlfriend got in on it.
She really is a sweet thing
who never had any place in things between us.

But I know it was never about me.
How could it be?
She never knew me.
You did.

When things got mean
the pain grew deeper,
And the walls just wouldn't show up. Though I wished for them
Something knew better.

Our split was the redefinition of
no more resistance
in this existence 
and maybe that's why we never worked.

If it hurts let it.
If its in the way speak of it.
If it makes you want to hide and shy away,
there's something there to face.

I needed to even when you couldn't.
Truth, even too much of it, 
was how I had to live.

We got through it one way
in the beginning and 
that was no small feat.
But then in the end, 
those nights I cried and didn't
want you to touch me 
'cause it was so lonely -
we were taking turns in different worlds 
And I know it hurt you
as much as me.

But I always loved you. 
I'm sorry for the things I had to go through
that couldn't be shared. 
I'm sorry for wishing so hard you could be there.
For not seeing you just couldn't 
any more than I could for you.

We needed too much, we two.

And there were times I had to
Live in a lie 
Get by until the next breakthrough
Too.

Must be a human thing.

We can't always have the answers when the questions arise. 
Sometimes you gotta soul search to find 'em.
I couldn't speed that process 
No more than you.

Maybe we weren't so different, us two.
The bottom line is, I loved you.

Goodbye.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Paper Yoga

The mail came.

I put it away.


Cleaning floors, dinner for four,
Cracked open doors.
Dog walks, tv talks, bedtime stories
Four nights ignored.



Now.

I lie on my back,
Breathing.
Pull knees to chest,
Plant feet.
Push shoulders apart,
Reach hips up -
Gently work towards 
The crack.

What my heart does, opening.

Colors of emotions.
My blood is rushing.
I breathe.
Throat choked in fear of
Feeling.

Memories flood and flow. 
Keep breathing.
Keep reaching until
It's open wide.

When there's nothing left
My body bends
Brings me to my side.

An infant,
Grieving innocence.